Why Am I Broken?
We all struggle with brokenness the fact we are imperfect human beings. That we’re flawed. We struggle with that truth on a rather deep level. Thing is, everyone is imperfect. Everyone is broken. Creatives. Business owners. Visionary leaders. Everyone. No one is immune. To calmly walk with our imperfections is to find peace of mind. It’s ok to be human.
Mentioned In This Podcast
Why Am I Broken? Fantastic Imperfect Human Beings (Summary Notes)
We all struggle with imperfection and brokenness. We’re all flawed. And we all struggle with that truth. And if someone is going through a really tough time, “Why am I so broken? Why am I so lost?” Imperfection and brokenness, we would rather not go there.
Most of us don’t. Or if we do, we make it worse by judging ourselves. Does your public mask match your internal truth? Do you feel like an impostor? For most of us, imperfection and brokenness is not like a huge dark cloud. But it’s there.
We make mistakes. Occasionally, we make big mistakes. So they’re there, kind of acting like judge and jury, convincing us that we’re somehow flawed. Again, imperfection and brokenness becomes an oppressive force.
Imperfection & The Stories We Tell Ourselves
The wrong assumption is that we’re honest, good storytellers when it comes to the person in the mirror. The stories we tell ourselves about these big mistakes we’ve made. The stories we tell ourselves about our imperfection and brokenness.
We continually tell ourselves a narrative that tends to be very hard on ourselves. Or we go the other way and tell stories that minimize our behaviors. And yet, there we are, naked as a jaybird. Every day we walk through life.
The forces of imperfection and brokenness can make us do crazy things. The forces of imperfection and brokenness can make us think crazy things.
Avoidance and all the things that that leads to. It’s an all out war against impostor syndrome. We don’t wanna feel that sense of being an impostor. And maybe we have some shame because we’re human.
Secret #1: Everybody Is Broken, Everybody Is Imperfect
“Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.”
Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
So no matter what mistakes you’ve made, if you’re an everyday type of human being, the person to the right or left of you has their version. Really, they do. Imperfection and brokenness is common among all people not matter who they are.
Your version of imperfection and brokenness is not unique. Why is this important?
It easy to beat a ery toxic kind of drum. And it’s easy to then live the beats of that drum as truth. Your version of imperfection and brokenness is not unique and that’s good news. You’re not alone. People are broken just like you.
Secret #2: The Problem Isn’t The Problem, Shame Is The Problem
The problem isn’t the problem. It’s the shame from our imperfection and brokenness that gets in the way. It’s the shame about the problem. It’s the shame that encourages us, sometimes loudly and profoundly, to avoid the problem. That’s how we stay stuck. The shame from our imperfection and brokenness keeps us in prison.
And we all do that, we all avoid. I avoid. You avoid. I don’t care how successful you are, I don’t care how effective you are, I don’t care who you are, we all avoid. Me included.
But when you slow down and spend some time with that shame, imperfection and brokenness looses it power with some work. But we can’t do that when were running from it.
That’s the natural order of things, to have imperfection and brokenness in our life. That’s a part of the journey. That’s a part of the walk. And that’s ok.
The Yin & Yang Of Imperfection
Life is, and forever will be, about the Yin and Yang. Life is and forever will be about the Yin and Yang. Where there is anger, there is love; where there accomplishment, there is failure; where there is strength, there is weakness; where there is perfection, there is imperfection. Imperfection and brokenness have opposites and vice versa.
Brokenness is the natural order of things. Brokenness participates in the Yin and Yang. Imperfection participates in the Yin and Yang. Impostor Syndrome, that we all battle to varying degrees, participates in the Yin and Yang. There will always be brokenness in your life. There will always be imperfection.
We can learn a lot from our brokenness. Our brokenness can push us. And we can learn a lot from our imperfection. We can find calm and self-acceptance. If that is the path we choose.
Again, Yin and Yang is always at play. It’s never not at play. So if we begin to accept that imperfection and brokenness is the natural order of things, we are free.
Adversity & Uncertainty: The Big Imperfection Triggers
Adversity and uncertainty heighten how powerless we feel. When we face a lot of adversity we feel very powerless. When have a lot of uncertainty, we feel very powerless, very out of control. And we really like to feel in control. Toxic imperfection and brokenness thrives on fear.
But such experiences are a normal part of life. We don’t have to avoid these experiences. We can just sit with uncertainty. We can sit with adversity. We can sit with our imperfection and brokenness and use it to elevate ourselves.
This is the daily walk of Yin with Yang. This is the daily walk of imperfection. This is the daily walk of adversity and uncertainty. That is life. I breathe in my imperfections. I breathe in my brokenness. And I breathe out solutions and hope and acceptance and ideas and new doors and new possibilities.
The zen, the ebb and flow of imperfection and brokenness. This is the daily walk of Yin with Yang. To calmly walk with the endless chaos of contradiction, free of judgment.
Here’s Your Homework
Grab three index cards.
Write down the following mantra on each one, placing them throughout your life. We’re gonna take on imperfection and brokenness from a place of mindfulness.
Here’s the mantra, “Why am I broken? Because I am human. Why do I make mistakes? Because I am human. Why do I feel like an imposter? Because I’m human and that’s okay. It’s okay to be human.”
Take a deep breath, hold it in for two counts. And then go back through through the mantra. Even if this is WAY outside of your comfort zone, do it anyways, 3x a day for one month. Take on imperfection and brokenness from a place of wisdom. You be blown away by the results you get.